I love when I see our kids work together, especially when they do it on their own. It is great when they put their “heads into it” and come up with a solution that works. The process isn’t always fun, somtimes it is painful, and often we have to try and try again. The fact is, we are better together. We can accomplish so much more in this world if we will work together. When it comes to happiness, success, and fulfillment in this life…we need each other. We live in a busy, noisy world, and some of the noise tells us to do things our own way or to do things on our own. We need to do the opposite and make sure we are building relationships that provide us support in any time of need. The key isn’t just about getting the task done, it is finding ways to get it done while working together.
The other important piece of working together is celebrating together. When you and your spouse (or kids) work together, make sure you celebrate together. Finding a way to rejoice in our work will encourage us to work together in the future. Work hard (and play hard), do it together, and celebrate!!
                           

For the past week or so I’ve been asking my kids if there is anything they want to do before school starts. They respond with the typical answers: “start summer over again,” or “go on our road trip and start from the beginning,” or the classic, “make it so we never have to go to school again.” I’ve been asking them if there is anything they want to do because I can almost guarantee that in a few weeks we will start hearing about the summer wish list and things that were missed and by then it will be too late. So what about you, any last minute requests for summer? I know some of you have probably ended your summer and are now into fall or school mode, but I think it is still a good question to ask. When it comes to our own happiness and the happiness of our relationships, we need to make what is most important the priority. There will never be enough time and there will always be something else to do. We don’t want to put off our opportunities to connect with those who matter most, and now is the time. Planning something fun can be a great way to enjoy the last days of summer. Here are my last minute summer requests (even though some or most might need to take place after my summer ends because it has already ended):

*Play Cami in tennis….I made it out two weeks ago with the boys, but I’m still waiting my chance to keep my winning streak alive against the one who matters most.
*Enjoy at least one more barbeque…I tend to use my grill all year round, but I want one last one with the summer sun and my brother has moved so I’m not sure we will have our annual Labor Day feast.
*Catch a sunset…we have a great park that offers the perfect setting to watch the sun go down. It has become a fun summer ending for my family to be playing at the park and enjoy a few last sunsets before fall.

So what’s on your list? Plan something special with those who matter most and you’ll find that when you look back on the summer of 2008, this will be an added bonus to your memories. Enjoy!

For many of us this is a time of change….kids back to school, new schedules, and even a change in our attitudes. Some love the transition from summer to fall, while others try to hold on to everything that reminds them of summer. As you make this change, whether you enjoy it or not, I thought I would offer a few keys to make this transition a different one.
For some, transitions are difficult. Many people enjoy a schedule and struggle to change it once they find something that works. I have often heard people say that their approach to change is to ‘just get through it,’ and then they work on establishing the schedule they want. A key to success might be to do the opposite. Rather than ‘just getting through’ the transition, try to use this time as a time to create new habits and insert pieces of your life that you have been missing. If you wait until after you’ve made it through the transition, the new schedule will be set by default and now you will have to change the schedule to insert additional pieces. I know this might sound strange, but one of the best times to make a change in life is during a time of transition. When several things are changing, it can be easier to add or subtract activities from our daily routine.
A second key to change in a time of transition is being thoughtful in what changes we would like to make. I prefer to have a vision or picture of what I want and where I want to go and then I use that picture as a guide in my transition. Be thoughtful as you go through this time of change and think about you and your relationships. What do you want to keep and what would you like to change?
Here’s to holding on to summer….tomorrow I start my new job and I’ll be ready to embrace change. For today…I’m holding on to summer.

If you remember, in the beginning of the summer I asked each of you to put your relationship and connecting with your spouse on your summer ‘to do’ list. As we approach the middle of August and some of us begin thinking about back to school and the end of summer (I hate saying that), I want us all to think about our relationships and how we’ve done during the summer. I hope you’ve had a great summer and that you were able to change your pace a little and do something to help you remember the summer of ‘08. Think back to your goals for your relationship, have you done all that you hoped? Were you able to get a way or do something special? I would think that most of us have some fun summer memories or events that are specific to summer and our relationships. Cami and I tried to go to the drive-in with our kids when we were in I.F., but the places were closed. Going to the drive-in movie with our little ones was a fun memory and we thought it would be fun to keep it alive. What about you, what have you done? I know for myself, there are still a couple of simple things I hope to do with Cami before the summer ends. I haven’t played her in tennis yet and that is a memory that goes back to high school. With the remaining weeks or month (!!) try to find a moment or two to create a lasting memory with your spouse and revisit a past memory.
This morning I was reviewing some information on relationships and a fun statement stood out to me. ‘If you want to have some depth of understanding of someone, you have to know what moves them. You need to know their emotional world; what drives them in relationships and what matters most.’ I believe that when we create special (and often simple) moments with our spouse and those who matter most, we will know them emotionally. We will feel connected, and we will learn what matters most.

I like to draw comparisons from life to relationships and my family’s trip had many small experiences that taught me important lessons. I grew up in Southeast Idaho. I’ve probably been to or driven past Twin Falls a million times but I had never been to this waterfall until this summer.
                                       
This waterfall in found in the canyon as you drive into town. From the park below it didn’t look like much, but you can barely see my family next to it. Who knew it was there, and who knew it was so impressive?
So what’s the comparison…there could be many from this experience and the one that stands out the most is the assets in our relationships. You can read any book on love and relationships and they will give you a list of “must have” qualities to make your marriage work. What is true is the fact that many of the ’small and simple’ things are the keys to happiness in life and in relationships. We see the small assets so often that it is easy to miss how important (and how impressive) they can be.
My brother who told me about the waterfall said he took some business partners to see the canyon and the waterfall and they were taking pictures like they were at the Grand Canyon. This can happen in relationships when others see our ’small and simple’ assets that we may not recognize. Can we see what we have and do we take time to enjoy the small assets and ‘great views’ in our relationships? Do we rush past the small signs in the road that ask us to pay attention and learn valuable tips along the way? So often we can find ourselves searching for the next big thing, when the small things in our lives and in our relationships are what matter most.
                            

In life, and in relationships, side stories can steal the focus from the main event. This can be a good or bad thing. When it is a bad thing the goal is to re-focus our attention on what matters most. When it is a good thing, the goal is to enjoy the new story and make sure it is remembered along with the main event. We returned from a great ‘Road Trip’ which the kids named “Water Mania” as water parks and lakes were the main focus. We had a wonderful time seeing lots of family, friends, and some fun adventures. Each of the kids worked to have spending money on the trip and during one of our last stops in McCall, Idaho, Cooper found something he just had to have.

We tried to talk him out of it, but the more we tried, the more he was certain that this was (and still is) his ticket to lots of money. We walked around the town a little more before he returned to buy the sign. The rest of the afternoon, Cooper held that sign up high to make sure everyone knew the rule and who to pay. We laughed and laughed as he told us how this was going to make him rich and how he was going to make copies of the sign and place them all over the house. All the kids started working with him on how to get out of the possible charge. Soon he had free bites of ice cream, Maci offered to share her hard earned (and saved) money, while others were willing to do work instead of money. Cooper took it to the grocery store, the ice skating rink, and made sure it was in clear site while driving. We stopped in Moscow on the way home for one last water park and his sign fell out the window of our van. We stopped in the middle of the road and Cami had to run and grab the sign. The first thing he did when we made it home was find a place for his sign. He has already received his first payments and has several “IOU’s” coming his way.