Summer is here! I hope you are enjoying a change to your pace and a change in your focus. My family loves summer and all the different activities that it offers. Summer brings with it several reasons to celebrate. As you prepare to celebrate the 4th of July, I want to take this time to remind you of some keys points that will help your celebration turn into a relationship connection.
For many of us, celebrations are a time of reunion. People come together to enjoy an activity or event. During this event, people talk, laugh, and play. They participate in activities that encourage them to engage with one another. It is through this engagement that relationships are strengthened and continued. We often rate the success of a celebration based on the quality of the activity, but it is often the success of our connections that determines how we feel about the event. For those of you gathering together this weekend or sometime over the summer remember these quick tips:
**Connections are made through mutual accessibility and responsiveness. What this means is that you want to plan activities that encourage people to open up and share themselves with others. Don’t plan activities that separate people, plan group activities that require communication and relying on one another.
**Security comes through vulnerablity. When we work to create connections we want secure connections. These are build through the lowering of ones’ defenses. Find ways to have your family and friends feel comfortable and safe. As they do so, they will share more of who they are and open up and let others in.
**Connections are made through emotions. Sure some families connect through physical activities, but most connect through talking. Regardless of the activity, people will leave connected when they engage in emotional experiences. This is often why we gather during a celebration: celebrating brings with it positive emotions. Try to make sure people engage in humor, laughter, fun, joy, and even excitement. All these feelings will help your guests leave with positive memories of the moment.
**Finally, think about yourself. If you happen to be the ‘cruise director’ for the activity, make sure you find ways to connect. If you are too busy helping others and find no time to enjoy, you will miss out on this great opportunity.
So go on, celebrate. Find ways to open up, share, and connect!

What is the price of a nickel? You know the ones that are round, silver, and have a face on them? For some of us we would say 5 cents, yet yesterday I would say priceless. Yesterday was Father’s Day and I hope every father felt loved and appreciated. Fathers play such an important role in the family. I know they are to provide for the family, but their presence and accessibility is so key.
Yesterday Cooper kept coming up to me and giving me money. His first one was a nickel and I thought it was one he found on the floor because we’ve been trying to teach him that just because he finds money, that doesn’t make it his. I thought nothing of it, put it in my pocket and continued on. A few minutes later he returned with another nickel, and then a string of pennies every now and then. Once I even received a quarter. When it was time to go on my treasure hunt with the kids I found his card with a dollar and two quarters taped to it. I soon realized that Cooper was giving me a gift that meant the most to him…his own money. You see, Cooper loves money. He always seems to have money, and he loves to talk about it. For him to give it to me was priceless.
The best gifts we give in this life do not always come in pretty packages or fancy things. They are those that come from the heart and those that have a personal touch. I really think the best gift we can give is to give a piece of who we are to those we care about. For Cooper, to give me a piece of himself was to give me his nickels, pennies, and dimes…and even a dollar. Happy Father’s Day!

I’m teaching a class right now where we are discussing what love is and different theories that try to describe it. One of the theories that we covered discusses Sterberg’s 7 types of love. Robert Sterberg believes that love is comprised of three elements: passion, intimacy and commitment. He claims that passion is the motivational component and calls it the ‘urge to merge.’ He claism that intimacy is the emotion component that refers to feelings of closeness and connectedness. Lastly, he claims that commitment is the cognitive component that refers to the decision that one loves the beloved. Based on the balance of the three components (intimacy, passion, and commitment), a couple can have one of seven types of love. Which one best describes your relationship:
1. Liking: the kind of love where intimacy is high, but passion and commitment are low.
2. Infatuation: love where passion is high, but intimacy and commitment are low.
3. Empty love: commitment is high, but passion and intimacy are low.
4. Romantice love: both intimacy and passion are high, but commitment is low.
5. Companionate love: intimacy and commitment are high, but passion is low.
6. Fatuous love: passion and commitment are high, but intimacy is low.
7. Consummate love: all three elements are present in full.
I believe that love is something we feel, something we do, and something we create. I belive that we can find ourselves in anyone of these types of love along the journey we have in this life. The hope is that we can be aware of where we are, what we want, and how to create the type of love where we are all happy. Think about your relationship and where you are and what type of love you really want. This can be a good conversation piece for you and your spouse.