So what’s on your Christmas list this year? New clothes, a trip, some tech toy? I loved reading the lists my kids made this year as they ranged from a single item (Preslie wants a pink doctor kit), to the double digits, to the suggestions. Yes, Beaudry and Braunson didn’t want to burden Santa this year so they only gave suggestions. I’ve been so busy with finals, grades, and Christmas parties that I’m finally sitting down to write my list.
Well I already know some of my gifts because I bought them. There will be one that is big and red and goes really fast. I can’t wait to use it in the spring and will have to wait with anticipation for a few more months. There are a couple of small things that I even wrapped for myself that will be more of a surprise to Cami because I have them coming from her (don’t worry they are small and practical gifts). Usually I don’t buy my own gifts so we will see how I like it this year.
So if I know some of what I’m getting, what else could I want for Christmas? All I want for Christmas is time with my family and time at home. Sounds silly, but I’m coming off a busy couple of months and being home and being a dad and husband sound pretty good right now. The best part is this is a gift I know I can get.
Whatever you ask for this year, I hope you’ll find the gift of quality time waiting under your tree. We live in a busy world and quality time with those we love can be hard to find. I’ll miss being with extended family and some friends, but I’ll cherish the time at home with my special ones. Merry Christmas to each of you. I hope this has been a great year and that you will look back at 2009 and see steps towards connection, stronger bonds, and a sense of security in your life.

I love this time of year for many, many reasons and hope you do to. I love the lights, the sounds, and the excitement that comes from anticipation. As I was driving downtown this morning I saw a big window display with the question, “Do you believe?” This time of year that is a great question to ask. Last year we had the Santa discussion with Beaudry and Braunson and it seemed to ruin Christmas. Somehow, I think they are back to trusting in the old St. Nick. Another question around beliefs, is whether or not we believe in the Christ child, Jesus.
Lately I have found myself asking another question around whether or not people believe that their marriage can be different. When you’ve lived with the same patterns for years and years, sometimes it can be difficult to truly believe things can and will be different. Yet, just like Christmas, there is a magic that takes place when we do believe. I hope each of us will always believe that our marriages can and will improve. Without this belief it is hard to make the effort and put in the work. Yet when we do, we will love where it takes us. This Christmas, I ask you…Do you believe? Merry Christmas!

As we navigate through the holiday season we all hope to avoid disasters and hopefully find ourselves as having masters all that is required. I thought I would share a quick comparison of what the reserach John Gottman has found about the differences in couples, ones he calls masters and disasters. His research shows that the master couples (those who stay together and are happy) are more likely to prioritize their relationship, develop rituals of connection, continually update their knowledge of one another, and continually add positive energy to their relationship. He has found that disaster couples (couples who either break up or remain together but are not happy) tend to prioritize parts of their life other than their relationship, fail to add positive energy to their relationship, and fail to make repair attempts when problems do arrive.
I can think of the first key as one that may be difficult during December, but we will be happier in the end (and even during the process) if we will find small ways to prioritize time together. Don’t you think we should enjoy the season together? I believe we can and as we do, we will find that the season has much more meaning and enjoyment.